asker

duckswearhats asked: Hi, I read that you've dealt with with impostor syndrome in the past, and I'm really struggling with that right now. I'm in a good place and my friends are going through a lot, and I'm struggling to justify my success to myself when such amazing people are unhappy. I was wondering if you have any tips to feel less like this and maybe be kinder to myself, but without hurting anyone around me. It's a big ask, I know, but any help would make my life a lot less stressful

The best help I can offer is to point you to Amy Cuddy’s book, Presence. She talks about Imposter Syndrome (and interviews me in it) and offers helpful insight.

The second best help might be in the form of an anecdote. Some years ago, I was lucky enough invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.

On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while a musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a very nice, polite, elderly gentleman about several things, including our shared first name. And then he pointed to the hall of people, and said words to the effect of, “I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”

And I said, “Yes. But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”

And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.

(There’s a wonderful photograph of the Three Neils even if one of us was a Neal at http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2012/08/neil-armstrong.html)

  1. modernmutiny reblogged this from trent-crimminal
  2. trent-crimminal reblogged this from swaggy-transfag
  3. swaggy-transfag reblogged this from vult-helixer
  4. vult-helixer reblogged this from psychiccat
  5. tumultuoustuna reblogged this from artsy-hobbitses
  6. fandomrecycling reblogged this from artsy-hobbitses
  7. forta-ver reblogged this from artsy-hobbitses
  8. artsy-hobbitses reblogged this from neil-gaiman
  9. candleli reblogged this from fangirltothefullest
  10. nossorgs reblogged this from phenomenice
  11. phenomenice reblogged this from neil-gaiman
  12. cloudofballoons reblogged this from neil-gaiman
  13. avgspacelover reblogged this from neil-gaiman
  14. sidhelogia reblogged this from hinekosama
  15. hinekosama reblogged this from neil-gaiman
  16. ineffabletrash reblogged this from neil-gaiman
  17. elegantlyenchantedstubbornfool reblogged this from neil-gaiman
  18. randomactsofpigeon reblogged this from mallaidhsomo
  19. sauntervaguelydown reblogged this from roach-works
  20. whimsyswastry reblogged this from mallaidhsomo
  21. heystovepipeboys reblogged this from dduane
  22. neil-gaiman posted this
Short URL for this post: https://tmblr.co/ZvoEtw2LajLfd