bitterkarella:

Midnight Pals: Muse

Anna Helen Crofts: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, this is a little story that me and howard wrote together
Barker: you and howard? how’d that happen?
HP Lovecraft: oh we’ve been looking for a project to do together for a while

Edward Lee: bro you hanging with anna helen crofts now?
Lovecraft: yeah
Lee: bro
Lee: sonia greene, winifred jackson, hazel heald
Lee: how are you pulling all this quality tail?
Lovecraft: i don’t know, i’m just being myself
Lee:
Lee: bro that doesn’t make any sense

Crofts: ok so this story is about a woman who reads a poetry book
Crofts: and she has a dream that the gods themselves appear to her
Crofts: and they’re all ‘babe, we got some great news for you’
Crofts: you’re so hot that you’re gonna fuck some inspiration into the world’s greatest poet

Crofts: the gods are all 'check it out’
Crofts: 'you know Dante Alighieri? William Shakespeare? John Milton?’
Crofts: 'morons!’
Crofts: 'the guy you’re gonna fuck is SO much better’

Angela Carter: a woman’s just there to be a muse for a great man, huh?
Carter: why can’t a woman be a poet herself, I ask you?
Crofts: no angela you don’t understand
Crofts: this chick is SO hot
Carter: that doesn’t figure into it
Patricia Highsmith: naw i think it does

Crofts: me and howard wrote this story together
Barker: oh did you now?
Poe: clive
Barker: i can tell, cuz it’s definitely got all the usual hallmarks of a howard story
Poe: clive
Barker: i bet howard really contributed a lot
Poe: clive

Crofts: wouldn’t that be great to be a muse
Crofts: a poet looks at you, he’s all 'this chick is SO hot’
Crofts: 'i can’t NOT write the world’s greatest poem’
Crofts: if you think about it, howard
Crofts: that’s kinda like you and me, don’t you think?
Lovecraft: yeah i guess

Crofts: something wrong, howard?
Lovecraft: no
Lovecraft: no it’s nothing
Lovecraft: its just
Lovecraft: that isn’t really the direction i thought our collaboration would take
Crofts: what’s wrong with it?
Lovecraft: it’s just kinda mushy

Crofts: ok howard well next time we’ll write what you want to write
Crofts: in fact, here
Crofts: why don’t you use my beauty as inspiration
Crofts: i’ll be your muse
Barker: ah ha ha
Barker: oh honey
Barker: oh sweetie
Barker: have you read any of howard’s stories?

Crofts: write me, howard, write me like one of your squid girls
Lovecraft: [sweats] ok um so
Lovecraft: [sweats] so in this story there’s this girl, ok
Crofts: what’s she like
Lovecraft: indescribable
Crofts:
Barker: ah aha ha
Barker: nice save